Fragments

Posted on 03 Aug 2021 @ 11:28am by Commander Zekru Krelossi

"Personal log, Stardate 41581.5. Lieutenant Commander... well, I suppose that's in question now, isn't it? Zekru Krelossi recording."

"I have spent the last several hours reviewing logs recorded by... me. Ship's logs. Personal logs. Mission reports. It's my face, it's my voice, it's my mannerisms and expressions, but I remember very little to none of it. I've been acting as the ship's first officer, commanding the ship during Delta shift. I've been to Ruhansa and infected with the Piraktan plague. I've been very miserable on an unnamed planet of ice, where the Piraktan people probably originated from. I helped invade a Ruhansan prison and stole several databases?"

The Saurian's voice is rough, and he coughs before taking a sip of water. "There are pieces, here and there. I was at Starfleet Command on Earth, doing my final briefings before shipping out to rendezvous with Boston upon its return from the Shaya Shi’kwai region. I attended a reception my last evening there for the command staff of various ships. Captain V'Los was there with me, as the Zephyr was departing that evening for Starbase 324, and we mingled about, then said our goodbyes and I went to my temporary quarters across the bay. I remember this all as clearly as if it just happened."

There's a long moment of silence, and then a hesitant plucking of a stringed instrument, which he starts to tune. "It is as if I had a nightmare. There's nothing there now, just bits and pieces of ... impressions. Colors, sounds, temperatures. Like swimming in deep water and trying to observe what is happening at the surface? Everything so vague. The ship's own logs are undeniable, though - I watched myself enter the computer core, then exit. I watched myself leave the bridge and start shooting in engineering. People I don't know and don't really recall being bounced off bulkheads and each other. Absorbing phaser fire like it meant nothing -- and enjoying it."

"How can these people ever trust me again? How can I ever trust myself again? Why should they believe that I was not responsible for these things? It's a convenient excuse from the 'damn lizard' as our chief engineer put it."

Zeku plucks the strings again, apparently satisfied with his tuning. "How do I apologize for this? Computer, end log."